This weekend I was in Nore & Uvdal with mr Hunter. It made me draw some parallells to the night we met. The story went as follows:
(If you know David Attenborough, spice it up by reading in the same style as he does)
Once up in the mountains the female hunter carefully observed her desired target.
... After more than 10 years in the serious hunting (read flirting) business, the experienced and well-equipped female hunter (I) sat down on a rock (a bar chair).
It was a beautiful day and the clear autumn sky (the loud and crowded nightclub) allowed to scout for hours. (The dancefloor was packed. I was by myself in the waiting line in a bar.Waiting for drinks. Observing. Being observed..)
A co-hunter had strategically made the female hunter a victim of a Blind Planter move. [Blind Planter] = This is the person who places a bird or bumper at a designated spot for a blind retrieve. (Read: My friend had left me waiting for her in the bar. She never returned...) The patient female hunter scouted for a very long time.
No returning co-hunter.. No target in sight...
The female hunter all of a sudden hears a sound. ?
Something moved. Wait. Was it the bitch? [bitch] = female dog. The co-hunter? Or was it something else?
The female hunter adjusted her riflescope to get a better sight.
A male trophy. WOW. Now wouldn´t that be something!
She sprayed on some attractor scent and fixed her camouflage. ("wow. He´s yummi! hmmm.. Eyecontact?.. ? .. Eyecontact! ... Thank God I am wearing perfume tonight! I better take off my jacket so that he notices me." He had already noticed me and was approaching in a fast pace). The target had left his habitat, he moved quickly and began strutting. [to strut] = part of the courtship behavior to signal the male wants to mate with the female. The male walks near the female with some tail feathers fanned, others dragging on the ground. As he walks like this, he emits a low pitched noise. (read; yes, he had had a few drinks. And so had I)
She loaded her weapon once the target approached. (Oh yes, my secret weapons were definitely loaded. Eyecontact CHECK, hair CHECK, smile CHECK, cleavage CHECK.)
She was ready to take him down! The shotgun was loaded with the most powerful bullet.. (The bullet of looooove) She aimed carefully. She wanted this one and she wanted the bullet to hit precisely! (We were talking, moving around the club.. Time was flying. Music, cocktails, singing, laughing... "Let me get the next round!")
Target in sight. The female hunter shouted: HERE!!! ("Another Gin Tonic or do you want to leave?") [Here] = this obedience command means to come directly to/with me.
Now nothing was left for the opportunists. The female hunter had gotten herself a master trophy! (Haha, ladies! He is going home with ME! or.. more correctly, I ended up at his place..) [Opportunist] = After one animal has exerted the effort to kill prey, the remains will be eaten by another animal (the opportunist, or in this case, other single ladies) who benefitted by, but did not help in the hunt.
Whether it was the gin tonic that triggered it all, the first kiss or the estrus is unknown.. [Estrus] = two to four day period when doe are capable of breeding. It is only during this time that a doe will allow a buck to approach her.
Vagablond - out&about